Ashley’s phone bleeps.
Ashley: Oooh, Caroline, your Mum’s obviously got wifi again, she’s taken her go at Scrabble with me.
Me: For heaven’s sake, she only arrived at her villa in Spain half an hour ago, has she got nothing better to do with her time?! The pair of you are obsessed!
William: Careful Mum, Granny’ll ground you if you say stuff like that.