Menu Plan – And More …

Monday – chicken stir fry (however, we spent the entire evening having a huge row so didn’t bother cooking it).

Tuesday – lasagne, green salad, garlic break

Wednesday – Jamaican spicy beans (v) weightwatchers recipe

Thursday – Ashley leftover cannelloni from freezer, me WW chicken curry from freezer

Friday – away

I’m sitting in front of my computer at 6.30 in the morning because I can’t sleep because we had a H-U-G-E row last night.  Over my two jobs.  Which mean that I have to attend meetings during the early evening on approx 20 nights a year.  And on those evenings, I expect Ashley to look after William (he is his son, after all).  Now he has to go away more to run his mother’s bloody bloody bloody hotel, it has become quite problematic (despite the fact that he can choose the dates that he goes away), and a dispute that has been simmering over a change in my work dates, which means that I have to work three nights in one week next week, came to a head last night.

Without boring you with all the ins and outs, the crux of the matter is that Ashley sees all childcare as my responsibility, and he will ‘help me out’ (his words) if it’s convenient to him.  If not, forget it.  I’m very offended by this attitude.  Christ, it’s not as if I’m off on a shopping jaunt or an evening out – I’m going to bloody work.

And trying to pin his mother down (who lives locally) to babysit is like knitting with treacle.  Bearing in mind the fact that the problem has mostly arisen because Ashley’s running her hotel, you’d think she’d be a bit more co-operative, really.

And I don’t really have anybody else to ask.  If the meetings were later, I have various babysitters I can ask, but they sometimes start at 5 pm, when everybody’s still at work.  It means taking William to work with me (not ideal – looks very unprofessional, and means the poor kid sitting by himself for anything up to 2.5 hours while I work), or asking one of his schoolfriends’ mums.  Which I feel quite embarrassed about having to do.

We didn’t reach a conclusion, and I still feel very wound up about it this morning.  Just typing this is making me really angry again.  The culmination of last night’s argument was me shrieking that if he wouldn’t ‘help me out’ (see above) when I went to work, then I bloody well wouldn’t be ‘helping him out’ by entertaining his grandmother, aunt and mother to afternoon tea tomorrow afternoon, when he’s invited them round, and he could bloody well do it himself, as I’d be going out.  Which didn’t help matters at all.  Made me feel a lot better at the time though.

Feel horrible this morning.  All wound up and stressed.  And like I’m very close to crying (again).  And really really let down.  Horrible.

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23 thoughts on “Menu Plan – And More …

    • Thanks, Renia. Trouble is, the thing with his mother and babysitting is an ongoing beast that rears it’s ugly head again and again, and I hate feeling like I’m begging, so I won’t give her the satisfaction. She already knows I’m stuck for a sitter, because she was present during a minor flare-up on the same subject between me and Ashley last week, and she didn’t offer, so I won’t ask. Families, eh?!

  1. You poor thing, doesn’t sound very fair at all.

    Go and look at your lovely Mulberry bag and give it another stroke, that’ll put a smile back on your face.

    Victoria xxx

    • Thanks, Victoria – I’ve been out and treated myself to a facial today, and I feel a lot calmer about the whole thing now xx

  2. Oh Caroline, I’m sorry to hear you’re upset. I can completely understand though, it does sound unfair on you – like you say, it’s not as though you’re choosing to be at work! And the “helping you out” comment makes him sound like he belongs in the 1800s!

    I’m sure once the dust settles you’ll both work it out.

    Big hugs,
    Kat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Men, God sometimes they really are from another planet. I’ve had some ongoing ‘issues’ with my partner and his mother over this past summer. His mother lives abroad and he has been going to visit her at the drop of a hat, and with not a by-your-leave to me, whenever the fancy takes him. We’ve had many ‘full and frank discussions’ about it but no compromises are ever made on his part. And I don’t even get asked to go along for a change of scenery!!

    • Thanks, Elizabeth, for your message. Glad I’m not the only one to have ‘issues’ with other half and mother in law! xx

  4. Oh no, I hate the thought of you sitting at your PC feeling so upset. Can’t really add to what’s already been said other than to agree that the issue does need a proper (and calm) discussion and resolution. Maybe ma in law needs to understand that the support she gets with the hotel is conditional and she has to help with some of the child care. Just a thought. Hope it gets sorted soon. Take care.

    • Hi Liz – thanks for your message. I feel a lot better now, after having a nice facial at lunchtime today! MIL is a strange woman, and you’re right that she needs to understand the situation, but there’s a long history of her not being as helpful as she could have been with babysitting, and unfortunately it’s unlikely to change now. On the plus side, in a few years I won’t need a babysitter at all as Will’ll be old enough not to need one! xx

  5. How awful Caroline, not very nice of MIL not to offer when she already knew the situation. Hope you get it sorted soon, hate to think of you all upset at the computer. Big hugs to you X

    • Thank you, Kerri. Don’t worry, I’m feeling a lot calmer now – just had to get it out of my system by writing it all down – it really does help, I find. Hope all’s well with you and yours xx

  6. How frustrating! We have sort of simlar disputes – although Hub gets annoyed with my relationship with my parents. And the whole breadwinner / carer thing is the hardest thing about becoming a mother! Its the wanting it both ways. Hub wants me to have a job and earn as much as him – but at the same time, he does none of the household management and nor does he want to. It is unreasonable of them both not to help out in your situation though. But it also sounds as if this is a many tiered argument so very difficult to resolve – as when part of it is brought up so does the whole rest of it. can you try and break it down into chunks? easier said than done though – I know too well.

  7. What a dick! (sorry, I’m not nearly as polite as this lot and do enjoy a bit of man rage now and then). Hope he gets his act together soon!

    Hope today is better for you. This post also cheered me up because it made me glad I don’t have a man for a few minutes! xx

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