Monday – chicken stir fry (however, we spent the entire evening having a huge row so didn’t bother cooking it).
Tuesday – lasagne, green salad, garlic break
Wednesday – Jamaican spicy beans (v) weightwatchers recipe
Thursday – Ashley leftover cannelloni from freezer, me WW chicken curry from freezer
Friday – away
I’m sitting in front of my computer at 6.30 in the morning because I can’t sleep because we had a H-U-G-E row last night. Over my two jobs. Which mean that I have to attend meetings during the early evening on approx 20 nights a year. And on those evenings, I expect Ashley to look after William (he is his son, after all). Now he has to go away more to run his mother’s bloody bloody bloody hotel, it has become quite problematic (despite the fact that he can choose the dates that he goes away), and a dispute that has been simmering over a change in my work dates, which means that I have to work three nights in one week next week, came to a head last night.
Without boring you with all the ins and outs, the crux of the matter is that Ashley sees all childcare as my responsibility, and he will ‘help me out’ (his words) if it’s convenient to him. If not, forget it. I’m very offended by this attitude. Christ, it’s not as if I’m off on a shopping jaunt or an evening out – I’m going to bloody work.
And trying to pin his mother down (who lives locally) to babysit is like knitting with treacle. Bearing in mind the fact that the problem has mostly arisen because Ashley’s running her hotel, you’d think she’d be a bit more co-operative, really.
And I don’t really have anybody else to ask. If the meetings were later, I have various babysitters I can ask, but they sometimes start at 5 pm, when everybody’s still at work. It means taking William to work with me (not ideal – looks very unprofessional, and means the poor kid sitting by himself for anything up to 2.5 hours while I work), or asking one of his schoolfriends’ mums. Which I feel quite embarrassed about having to do.
We didn’t reach a conclusion, and I still feel very wound up about it this morning. Just typing this is making me really angry again. The culmination of last night’s argument was me shrieking that if he wouldn’t ‘help me out’ (see above) when I went to work, then I bloody well wouldn’t be ‘helping him out’ by entertaining his grandmother, aunt and mother to afternoon tea tomorrow afternoon, when he’s invited them round, and he could bloody well do it himself, as I’d be going out. Which didn’t help matters at all. Made me feel a lot better at the time though.
Feel horrible this morning. All wound up and stressed. And like I’m very close to crying (again). And really really let down. Horrible.